Thursday, May 15, 2008

Does this hat make me look fat?


Every girl needs a break. Mine was Thailand and a yummy little hotel called Sala Samui. It was hot and gorgeous and I braved the beaches in something they call a micro-tini, a thing a woman of my age and buttock jiggle shouldn't be caught dead in. But that's me - always pushing the envelope for the paparazzi. But don't worry, I'm home now...hard at work on finishing not one, but TWO manuscripts. One has gotten very naughty and the other is downright intellectual (if I can spell it) -- hmmm...which to finish first?
xxx

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Rule #1: Always invite the go-go dancers


I do not believe a party is truly a party until the go-go dancers get the cage a rockin'. (Remember my 30th birthday in Tribeca?!).

Saturday night was no exception. The gorgeous party at the over-the-top home of Jillian (no relation to The-Booster-Jillian) Manus and Alan Salzman would have simply been another million dollar black tie fete had it not been for the groovy gyrations, talking Nixon holograph, Brain Drain cocktails served out of the ears of an ice sculpture of George W, the Romneywitz Bar Mitzvah room, the afro-clad band and Melissa Rivers wearing that same-ole-same-ole dress she wore to the Golden Globes.

I donned a delightful, one-shouldered Marc Jacobs number. I believe it was from his pre-rehab 2007 resort collection. In any case, it was as fabu as a baggie full of coke. In fact, it may be the most fabu piece of clothing I own.

And...I'm also getting more and more inquiries as to my what's, when's and where's...so, okay: I'm writing, I'm rewriting, and re-re-writing, I'm sword fighting, doing ballet, kickboxing, pole dancing and organizing my eye shadows. Somebody's gotta do it, right?

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The European tour

Milan > Lake Como > Lagano, Switzerland > Copenhagen > Paris...all in 10 days! The dollar is pathetic so shopping had to be kept to a minimum. As usual, I made a stop at Frederic Malle and this time bought the entire set in mini form. Each morning I try a new parfum instead of just sticking with Therese, which is still the most gorgeous scent on earth. The highlight was meeting my French editor. She made me promise I wouldn't put her photo on my blog but I just love it too much to hide. Instead, I have made the pic as tiny as a door-mouse. The Metro sign! The Eiffel Tower! My book in French! So sorry, D.D.! I hope you will forgive me...and merci buckets for the tasty steak tartare!

Milan was oh-so-Christmas-y. It was also as cold as a witch's tit. (I had to go to Switzerland and buy a warmer coat. I just HAD to!) I found my hardback in a number of bookstores. It was also the opening night at La Scala. How fab is that? I stayed in this really grand hotel with lots of little gold bits and everyone spoke ITALIAN! It was very glamorous.

I gained about a zillion pounds, which is not funny at all, but I drowned my sorrows with a beautiful new handbag from ABACO. It was less expensive than the Louboutins I almost bought and way more comfy.

Friday, November 09, 2007

I have Great Happiness

In keeping with my shameless promotion of things I adore, people I admire or just stuff that I wish I had thought of first, I have to plug the absolutely jaw-dropping documentary The Great Happiness Space by filmmaker, Jake Clennell. I think you can only get it on Netflix at the moment (yes, I wish they paid me to say that) but I think you need to have it.

Here's why: I dare anyone not to fall in love with Issei, the hottest thing since, well, something else really hot. He's a shameless heart breaker with death-defying charisma and fantastic hair. The screen hasn't sizzled like this since Warren Beatty blew out Julie Christie in Shampoo.

The movie came out in 2006, which means Issei is probably driving his kid to soccer practice by now but for me he will always be the ultimate bad boy. If you need to know more before diving in (yes, Bryanboy, I know you're already sold), www.thegreathappinessspace.com.

God, I need to go to Osaka.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

It takes a year to really process.


I don't think anyone can really do Marie for Halloween the VERY SAME YEAR the movie comes out. The competition is too great - the images, too fresh. Like wearing white after Labor Day: it's just not right. But a year later and poof. Voila. Let them eat cack. The wig is my friend Nona's, The Vagina Designa. The pearls were my grandmother, Addie-Babes', and the dress is mine. Next year I'll go as, I dunno, Micheal Clayton maybe.
xx

Friday, September 21, 2007

La Ladra Romanzo di Jennifer Solow - oh m'gawd!

What could be better than gnocchi with pesto? Well - La Ladra Romanzo di Jennifer Solow.

What does it mean? Who cares. It's Italian and it sounds delicious.

"Jennifer Solow ci racconta la storia provocatoria di una 'bad girl' sofisticata e ribelle al tempo stesso, che ci conquista con la sua eccentricità e fragilità."

Does that sound fantastic or what?

If you happen to be in Italy and can drag me a home a copy - please do and drop me a line. I LOVE the Italian cover! It's so, like, Elastigirl, I'm dying.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Too Hot To Print!

The French magazine Public was supposed to run excerpts of The Booster all summer long BUT, at the last minute, they decided to pull it saying, "too scandalous....it might incite kleptomania."

As if the French don't enjoy a scandal? Le Bullshit!

I guess I should be flattered. I have created something TOO SCANDALOUS for France. Tres Bien.

If you haven't already done so, pick up a copy of the BRAND NEW PAPERBACK. Ah bon!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Paperback out this summer!

The printing presses are heating up. The boxes are ready. The bookstores are waiting. The rabid fans (who did not want to shell out the full $24 for a hardback) are salivating.

YES, The Booster in paperback is almost here. You can buy it in Australia. You can buy it in Italy. You can buy it in France. Someday maybe (bryanboy, help me here) THE TURD WORLD!

They changed the cover and I think it's quite lovely. More peppy perhaps? More...red?
I hope you enjoy it and as usual, drop me a line.

Friday, April 20, 2007

I have absolutely no news whatsoever.

It's been so long. I've missed you all. Me? What have I been doing? Well, I've been writing, which is the awful byproduct of this whole Famous Author thing...one must hold up one's end of the bargain.

I also have no photos to share except this one of my friend, Elliot. Elliot came to my reading at Bliss Spa and I really hope you can appreciate the full effect. Can you feel the Elliot-ness? Elliot is a very sparkly guy.

Also...big news: I was in Paris again and went on a perfume tour of all the great perfume houses in the city and I HAVE A NEW FAVORITE PERFUME! Editions de Parfums Frederick Malle is simply swimming in wonderfulness. I bought Le Parfum de Therese which is just so...I dunno...French. I also visited with my delightful friend Linlee at Colette. Linlee is a PR Goddess. She's moving to LA (for a boy, of course!) and will hopefully land a gig in the indy-movie-PR world. She was thinking that it might be fun to work with Drew Barrymore, so Drew...drop me a line and I'll connect you.

Meanwhile, if you are very gay and in need of a place to go, stop by Bryan Boy. He's my new Gay Best Turd World Boyfriend (GBTWB). Baboosh! (tm).

I hope to see you all so soon. New book almost complete. Paperback out this summer. Italian out this summer. French out as soon as they can figure out how to translate chutzpah.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I'm not Jackie Collins but I play her on TV

So "Bad Girls" was quite a delicious evening. I'd like to thank Bad Boy James, her supreme highness, Cameron Tuttle, my rabid fans, Kevin & Batman who shut down the bar and Desmond, king of the false eyelash.

It should be noted that absolutely NOTHING I'm wearing is a natural fiber so at any given moment I could have gone up in flames. Oh, the risks I take for literary notoriety!

So I've nibbled at the fruits and berries and now it is time to go back into my cave (see below). See you in WONDERLAND, CA.

xxooxx

Friday, October 13, 2006

BAD GIRLS!!

I've been dragged out of my slumber for what promises to be an evening of excitment and fabulous clothes.
InsideStoryTime presents:

"BAD GIRLS"
a lineup of Bay Area 'Bad Girl' authors!
Thursday October 19th
Rickshaw Stop
155 Fell Street (Hayes Valley, San Francisco)
7:00-9:00pm
$3-10 sliding scale
drinks and food available for purchase

I will be wearing my bubble gum pink patent leather Courreges minidress. What about you?
See y'all there!! xx

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Enjoying a mental break

I hope all of you won't mind while I take some time away from my blog to download my second book.

It's a dark and mysterious process shrouded in secrecy.

If you want all the scoop (when I have it), drips and drabs, the 'director's cut' if you will, please join my FAMOUS LIST.

Until then.

xx

Monday, June 12, 2006

Bestseller List, Hello!!!!

A modern Haiku:

Sleepy Sunday Morning.
In the grips of jetlag.
Ambien just wearing off.
Morning birds chirping.
San Francisco Chronicle over coffee and eggs.
Turn page. Thinking nothing.
There she is.
Shiny and bright.
It's a lovely day.
The Bestseller List. I am on it.
I mean, my book is on it.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Call the world and tell them.
I exist.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Oh, Gay Paris!

My Vuitton train cases are packed. My hats are in big fat boxes. Yes, I'm off to Paris - a wandering boheme's heme away from heme.

I will be buying a new perfume.
I will be flirting mercilessly with smelly French people. I will smoke.
I will stop by and say hello to Linlee at Collette (and leave her The Booster. She's been dying for it!).

I'll see you all upon my return, oui?

xxx

Monday, May 29, 2006

Cleavage GA-Lore

Okay...so how far will a girl stoop to have a feature article written about her in the San Francisco Chronicle? Well...I say just far enough to show the world what she's made of!

Yes---after oodles of badgering, the Chronicle decided that yes, they like me, they really like me!

What does it all mean? I dunno---a hiker stopped me today on Cascade Trail and said "Are you the Famous Author?" I said, "Oh m'gawd...yes! That's me! I'M The Famous Author!"

Is this good or what? Anyway...they noticed my fabulous peek-a-boo shoes and new short shorts and at the end of the day that's all that really matters--right? So please drop me a line and say, YES, it was all worth it, Jennifer, I saw that article and yes...i DO want that Puimond corset and YES, I will check out THE BOOSTER.

I love you all.

xxx--moi.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Look Fabulous in Handcuffs!

I can't believe this slipped by me without a blog mention. Maybe I was too busy with my jet-setting around the world for the fabulous Famous Author Book Tour.

In any case, I'd feel remiss in not pointing out to all my compulsive shoplifting friends that one should always have a roomy white mink poncho on hand for those nasty arrests. A perfect way to hide those unpleasant handcuffs!

So while shopping for your mink, you might begin the countdown to the gorgeous feature on yours truly and The Booster in the Style section of the San Francisco Chronicle. I promise sexy pics (the photographer convinced me to bring out my Custom Puimond Corset) and juicy dish.

Until then.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

THE SUREFIRE QUERY LETTER IS HERE!!

Okay...so enough of you have asked me about my patented (well, not really) 4-step plan to a Surefire Query Letter! You've also asked me to share my letter which went out to 12 agents. 22 responded within 3 weeks (many within days), each asking for exclusives. I ultimately went with an agent who never saw the letter.

It worked for me...good luck and tell me if it works for you - jennifer@jennifersolow.com

In any case, here are the 4 steps:

1. Make your first sentence STUNning. Remember that agents get 100's of these letters each day. Grab them by the gullet from the very beginning.

2. Synopsize your book in a quick and compelling way. Find a way to describe your book succinctly. You'll use that description gain and again at every juncture.

3. Offer up a reason why there is a market for your book (even for fiction). In other words, why will your manuscript be sellable. Do this in an uncoventional and tonally appropriate way.

4. Make a connection between the agent and you.
This could take networking and/or creativity. Research your choice agents to death - read their authors, find out where they went to highschool, find some way of making it feel like they're THE ONLY agent for your book. Because why? Tell them.

Everything else is up for grabs. I wrote 2 pages with a LOT of white space (most people write one, crowded page) and didn't send a writing sample. I put it in a big bright orange envelope and printed it out on heavy, expensive paper. I sent to 12 with 12 back-ups in the wings.

Here is my letter to Bill Clegg (now with William Morris). Despite the breezy tone, this was draft 36 and 3 months of revision. Bill responded with within 24 hours.

Bill,

I’d like to profess that stealing a box of Golden Life Henna in the 7th grade was the end of my illustrious shoplifting career, but if we’re getting down to the short hairs here, I also stole a tube of organic toothpaste from Whole Foods less than a year ago.
$12.95! For toothpaste! I mean, c’mon. Gift with purchase, I like to say.

Actually, I wouldn’t mine stealing something right now.

Christ, it’d be easier than writing this letter. Three years of work down to a page, page and a half. The pressure to be charming here is enormous, you must know.

Maybe this afternoon. When I finish the letter.

So my book’s called The Booster and our heroine is not that different from me. Or possibly a more fabulous me. The Carrie Bradshaw I am in my imagination.

Here’s what I say when people inevitably ask me, “so, what’s your book about?”
Upper East Side Jewish American Princess kleptomaniac living the seemingly quintessential Manhattan life, loses job, loses boyfriend, loses housekeeper and winds up (long story short) joining a Peruvian Shoplifting Ring.

It is here our klepto learns what’s truly important in her life. Ahf tsores aside, it’s a happy ending kind of story.

For our 29-year old heroine, shoplifting* is better than orgasms:

“… Her breath pounds out in heaves. Her teeth chatter, droplets of sweat trickle down her side sending out a rank perfume, her nipples harden. She swallows a mouthful of saliva, the gulp of it echoing in her head. A quick slide off with a nimble hand and poof…it is gone.”

Pulizer Prize winning author, Alison Lurie singled out The Booster for praise as “an emerging work” at Sewanee Writer’s Conference, characterizing it as “lively writing, true to the female experience.”

Bill, Augusten Burrows, author and friend, simply insisted (as is his way) that, “Haven Kimmel loves Bill Clegg,” and that I should send you a query. That was good enough for me.

Please send the enclosed postcard if you’d like to see a sample of The Booster.

Thank you for your consideration and time,

Jennifer Solow

*9 million American women shoplift. ‘Shoplifting’ is the new ‘Bulimia’. 9 million dirty little secrets sell a lot of books. And magazines. And t-shirts. And action figures.

--------
TO READ AN EXCERPT OF THE MANUSCRIPT HE SAW CLICK HERE.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

A bribe from Seb Carroll. Honey Slave, Labour Organizer.

For any of you who think I might not accept their dare, I bring you Seb, The Brave:
--------
Ok, how about this...

I'm going to talk about someone I know. Virtually. This person is a gifted, gifted writer. One of the best I've ever read, in fact. I'm quite serious. Every word that I have read is precise, necessary, meaningful. Style oozes from phrases like yoghurt being squeezed between your toes. The prose is prosaic, the the style is stylistic, and the rhythm is rhythmic. The metre is metrical, and the yard is yardical. Imagine taking a bath in warm honey, while being fed chocolates by a slave, and having your feet massaged by a professional honey-foot-massager. Well, imagine no longer.

If you want to experience this for yourself, simply click here: sebcarroll's blog.

Does that sound ok? If you could copy and paste it into your blog, then I'll think of something nice to write about your book...

:)
-------
I only hope you can repay me with equal public abandon

Thursday, April 20, 2006

It's a mani-pedi. It's a reading. It's a mani-pedi reading.


It was a rough night for a famous author!

FIRST, Bliss Spa invited me to do a reading AT THE SPA, complete with massages, eyebrow waxing and mani-pedis for all who braved the swanky trek up from the ground floor of the W Hotel.

THEN, as if this wasn't all grueling enough, I drank enormous Lemon Drops provided by the all-too-talented, Armand the bartender. I chatted it up with my friends and the local glitterati and received many compliments on my gorgeous but horrifically painful Manolo Blahnik spectator pumps (how very Carrie Bradshaw of me).

In any case, after completing my duties, I went home way too late, pooped and a bit blotto on cocktails and dreamt of Bliss sugar scrub massages.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Famous Author World Tour

Don't fret. If you missed missed me on tour, our paths may still cross one day. With just a little bit of dry cleaning and a few new pairs of shoes, I may be at it all again.

Perhaps on The Famous Author Summer Tour or The Famous Author European Tour or The Famous Author Mani-Pedi Tour (which begins at Bliss Spa San Francisco next Wednesday, April 19th. Call to reserve a spot: 415-817-4103...it's almost full, so call soon).

If you never want to miss out on another oppotunity again, join my FAMOUS LIST and maybe you will be invited to be a VIP at one of these exclusive (and sometimes rained out) events. You don't have to be famous to be Famous.

xx
Jennifer